Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (970)

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

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  (970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa
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  we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome

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  (970): we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome http://tfl.nu/ziv6
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  Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly

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  (970): Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly http://tfl.nu/eo7f
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  I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.

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  (970): I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it. http://tfl.nu/cqfe
  Replies (8) Good night (706) Bad night (5998) Order T-Shirt
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  went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out

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  (970): went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out http://tfl.nu/unz9
  Replies (16) Good night (1048) Bad night (5889) Order T-Shirt
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  I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"

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  (970): I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983" http://tfl.nu/egdi
  Replies (31) Good night (807) Bad night (5469) Order T-Shirt
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  i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final

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  (970): i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final http://tfl.nu/shle
  Replies (34) Good night (891) Bad night (5401) Order T-Shirt
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  Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.

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  (970): Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/9pof
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  Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

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  (970): Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning..... http://tfl.nu/nrjr
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  She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

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  (970): She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat. http://tfl.nu/yazk
  Replies (17) Good night (2265) Bad night (4798) Order T-Shirt
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  No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...

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  (970): No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand... http://tfl.nu/1d8q
  Replies (10) Good night (708) Bad night (4797) Order T-Shirt
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  Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

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  (970): Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better http://tfl.nu/no2g
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  He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag

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  (970): He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag http://tfl.nu/538a
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  I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.

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  (970): I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that. http://tfl.nu/622i
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  I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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  (970): I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious. http://tfl.nu/cwzo
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