Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (618)

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket

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  (618): We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket http://tfl.nu/a9al
  Replies (4) Good night (1796) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.

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  (618): Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you. (270): No, that's okay. Don't worry about it. (618): Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/gcov
  Replies (44) Good night (3431) Bad night (1134)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.

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  (618): I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it? (1-618): We wouldn't be friends if you didn't. http://tfl.nu/4027
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.

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  (618): His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings. http://tfl.nu/61i4
  Replies (5) Good night (1851) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.

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  (618): I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas. http://tfl.nu/yx8c
  Replies (13) Good night (3943) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?

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  (618): This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it? http://tfl.nu/yhoj
  Replies (9) Good night (1721) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame

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  (618): thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame http://tfl.nu/q9yu
  Replies (5) Good night (1772) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.

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  (618): Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/svji
  Replies (14) Good night (1932) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're so demanding.

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  (618): Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka (816): You're so demanding. http://tfl.nu/w483
  Replies (3) Good night (1730) Bad night (950)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka

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  (618): I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka http://tfl.nu/yt16
  Replies (4) Good night (1648) Bad night (1091) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.

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  (618): I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help. http://tfl.nu/o577
  Replies (6) Good night (724) Bad night (1619) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha

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  (618): I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha http://tfl.nu/vgio
  Replies (9) Good night (2342) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."

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  (618): Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you." http://tfl.nu/wg5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1488) Bad night (1645)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today

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  (618): I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today http://tfl.nu/z5b2
  Replies (4) Good night (2029) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?

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  (618): Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off. (309): Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay? http://tfl.nu/53dx
  Replies (4) Good night (1124) Bad night (2187)