Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (201)

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.

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  (201): Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics. http://tfl.nu/mn0a
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  You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"

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  (201): You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth" http://tfl.nu/kxgj
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  Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.

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  (201): Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float. http://tfl.nu/ejnz
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  I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..

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  We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..

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  (201): I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again.. (973): We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks.. http://tfl.nu/kzt5
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  Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax

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  (201): Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax http://tfl.nu/ffmj
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  The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..

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  (201): The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in.. http://tfl.nu/ctm0
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  I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.

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  (201): I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made. http://tfl.nu/1nr5
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  I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it

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  (201): I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it http://tfl.nu/orze
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  A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.

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  (201): A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns. http://tfl.nu/v0at
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  I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL

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  (201): I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL http://tfl.nu/z2bq
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  She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke

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  (201): She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke http://tfl.nu/9cxf
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  Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.

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  (201): Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/iewi
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  His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage

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  (201): His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage http://tfl.nu/lo9j
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  he's gonorrhea incarnate

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  (201): he's gonorrhea incarnate http://tfl.nu/krir
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  What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...

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  It's called: a legit place to drop acid.

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  (201): What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage... (804): It's called: a legit place to drop acid. http://tfl.nu/crqc
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