Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Missouri (573)

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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  (573): Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving. http://tfl.nu/96e5
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  She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.

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  (573): She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical. http://tfl.nu/zk2m
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  Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it

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  (573): Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it http://tfl.nu/okq1
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  My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid

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  (573): My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid http://tfl.nu/x6gk
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  Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina

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  (573): Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina http://tfl.nu/35k1
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  I can tuck mytits in my pants

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  (573): I can tuck mytits in my pants http://tfl.nu/5g26
  Replies (27) Good night (385) Bad night (2537) Order T-Shirt
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  You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out

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  (573): You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out http://tfl.nu/kgmu
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (2466) Order T-Shirt
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  the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl

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  (573): the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl http://tfl.nu/glhm
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  just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch

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  Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?

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  IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation

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  (573): just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch (636): Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving? (573): IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation http://tfl.nu/yr3e
  Replies (29) Good night (6889) Bad night (2109)
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  This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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  (573): This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car http://tfl.nu/p8ht
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  i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella

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  (573): i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella http://tfl.nu/sjyh
  Replies (34) Good night (6063) Bad night (2019) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...

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  (573): I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad... http://tfl.nu/bjgv
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  You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.

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  (573): You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p4s9
  Replies (23) Good night (6508) Bad night (1920)
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  Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.

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  (573): Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more. http://tfl.nu/vzn5
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (1836) Order T-Shirt
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  Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?

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  I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?

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  (314): Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up? (573): I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up (314): Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days? http://tfl.nu/34og
  Replies (19) Good night (1180) Bad night (1726)