Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Missouri (573)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something http://tfl.nu/61ie
  Replies (7) Good night (606) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend" http://tfl.nu/taab
  Replies (3) Good night (314) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina. http://tfl.nu/5va6
  Replies (40) Good night (3600) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street. http://tfl.nu/ajuf
  Replies (12) Good night (3236) Bad night (1040) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.

  (1-573): View more from Missouri

  Mardi gras at its finest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay. (1-573): Mardi gras at its finest. http://tfl.nu/2k5p
  Replies (7) Good night (850) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12 http://tfl.nu/xbs4
  Replies (12) Good night (3646) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I want her autograph on my taint

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I want her autograph on my taint http://tfl.nu/g43m
  Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old. http://tfl.nu/bm7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1706) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend. http://tfl.nu/0oem
  Replies (15) Good night (3925) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators. http://tfl.nu/5v6t
  Replies (6) Good night (299) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life. http://tfl.nu/evuh
  Replies (24) Good night (7149) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"

  (314): View more from Missouri

  did it work

  (573): View more from Missouri

  that's not the point...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?" (314): did it work (573): that's not the point... http://tfl.nu/fjqb
  Replies (74) Good night (9400) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist. http://tfl.nu/hmuv
  Replies (37) Good night (8120) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties. http://tfl.nu/z2k6
  Replies (8) Good night (2372) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby http://tfl.nu/0mu9
  Replies (7) Good night (2513) Bad night (893)