Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (414)

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  I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.

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  (414): I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment. http://tfl.nu/4r7a
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  What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.

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  (414): What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess. http://tfl.nu/j346
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  Do I really need this much space in my mouth?

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  Are you already high?

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  (262): Do I really need this much space in my mouth? (414): Are you already high? http://tfl.nu/waj8
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  I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.

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  (414): I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night. http://tfl.nu/mhsz
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  I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.

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  (414): I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest. http://tfl.nu/z09j
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  we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!

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  (414): we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally! http://tfl.nu/l12k
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  I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina

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  (414): I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina http://tfl.nu/a948
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  Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.

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  (414): Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success. http://tfl.nu/e521
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  He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.

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  (414): He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married. http://tfl.nu/rsec
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  Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.

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  (414): Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears. http://tfl.nu/il0c
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  Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday

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  (414): Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/gou8
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  I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.

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  (414): I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid. http://tfl.nu/33wc
  Replies (3) Good night (320) Bad night (917)
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  Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.

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  (414): Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask. http://tfl.nu/qumd
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  You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.

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  After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.

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  (414): You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze. (414): After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned. http://tfl.nu/wsrv
  Replies (6) Good night (1241) Bad night (314)
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  I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?

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  (414): I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I? http://tfl.nu/qaua
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