Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
too bad you live with your parents still
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Follow @tfln