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my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
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