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I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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