Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (980)

Last Night in North Carolina (980)

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I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.

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oh, you finally did the dishes then?

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No, bought new ones.

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(980): I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. (704): oh, you finally did the dishes then? (980): No, bought new ones. http://tfl.nu/21up

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when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.

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(980): when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space. http://tfl.nu/ayzt

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i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!

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(980): i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter! http://tfl.nu/tgxr

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you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all

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(980): you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all http://tfl.nu/ifyj

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after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape

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(980): after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape http://tfl.nu/d3c4

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Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"

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(980): Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened" http://tfl.nu/41rs

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(980): View more from North Carolina

so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.

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(980): so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room. http://tfl.nu/bjdl

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My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.

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(980): My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less. http://tfl.nu/l7sw

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Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?

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(980): Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew? http://tfl.nu/j4qs

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It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.

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(980): It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire. http://tfl.nu/zb3d

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You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

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(980): You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls. http://tfl.nu/1jxr

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I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!

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(980): I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!! http://tfl.nu/427k

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(980): View more from North Carolina

How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?

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(980): How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail? http://tfl.nu/xsa7

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You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.

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Haha hell yea

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Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.

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(980): You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday. (336): Haha hell yea (980): Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday. http://tfl.nu/pa5o

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I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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(980): I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks http://tfl.nu/h8ue

Replies (29) Good night (778) Bad night (4780) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in North Carolina (980)

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