Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (937)

Last Night in Ohio (937)

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There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

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(937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich. http://tfl.nu/hmr5

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Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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(937): Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon! http://tfl.nu/1aph

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[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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(937): [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight] http://tfl.nu/2cq7

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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.

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(937): after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head. http://tfl.nu/3prw

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I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?

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Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.

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Is that considered a cock block?

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(419): I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me? (937): Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls. (419): Is that considered a cock block? http://tfl.nu/pjdr

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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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(937): pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point... http://tfl.nu/zj6y

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i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus

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(937): i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus http://tfl.nu/ioq2

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I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.

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(937): I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand. http://tfl.nu/sj9u

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bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome

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(937): bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome http://tfl.nu/t5r7

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Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate

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(937): Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate http://tfl.nu/e0yr

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You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

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Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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(937): You went to church with your boobs hanging out? (978): Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well. http://tfl.nu/nomt

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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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(937): I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens. http://tfl.nu/zmnj

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I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...

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I see you've learned your lesson.

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(937): I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status... (1-937): I see you've learned your lesson. http://tfl.nu/pjfr

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my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.

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(937): my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different. http://tfl.nu/n2zh

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Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date

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(937): Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date http://tfl.nu/jct3

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Last Night in Ohio (937)

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