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dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
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