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Last Night in Arkansas (479)

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I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.

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(479): I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle. http://tfl.nu/61o1

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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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(479): I had fun last night. We should have sex less often. http://tfl.nu/07uu

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just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.

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(479): just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation. http://tfl.nu/5hwm

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Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?

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(479): Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one? http://tfl.nu/0w3a

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Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

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(479): Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain. http://tfl.nu/si9l

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I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

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(479): I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary. http://tfl.nu/vju6

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I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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(479): I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head. http://tfl.nu/p8jq

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he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.

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(479): he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that. http://tfl.nu/u07t

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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."

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(479): He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana." http://tfl.nu/t5zw

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okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters

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ok you need to stop NOW

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(479): okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters (501): ok you need to stop NOW http://tfl.nu/gm1r

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She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.

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(479): She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink. http://tfl.nu/g05p

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hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

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what?

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your penis

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(479): hey, can i borrow that thing you never use? (1-479): what? (479): your penis http://tfl.nu/2nga

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I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...

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I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma

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(479): I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club... (1-479): I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma http://tfl.nu/vhqd

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You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?

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(479): You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI? http://tfl.nu/c4jp

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I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction

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(479): I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction http://tfl.nu/gbpq

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Last Night in Arkansas (479)

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