he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize