so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
