it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize