fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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