he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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