the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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