You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
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I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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