I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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