i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
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after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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