Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize