I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
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Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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