my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize