I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize