Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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