Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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