so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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