I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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