I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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