seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize