Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
There's always time for handjobs
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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