Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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