I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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