dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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