Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
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He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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