I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize