I just cut my nipple shaving
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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