Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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