I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize