I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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