Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You made out with two different species that night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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