Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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