i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
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All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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