I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize