I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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