mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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