she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
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I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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