So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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