Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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